The Stuff of Origin Stories

Look, we've all had that one really shitty job that will probably haunt us forever. For you it might have been a summer working for the family business. Or maybe it was a few years too many in a retail position that made you question the intelligence of humanity as a whole. Whatever it was, it was probably just the shittiest.

Now, come with me on a journey over the course of 10 “character building” years, to find out how each job prepared me for the work I do today.

Coffee Shop Cashier (2006)

How to become a cynic at 17.

Fast Food Cashier (2007)

Where were you during the Great Nugget Fight of '07?

Camp Cook (2007)

I mean, is anything designed with hallucinogenic fungi and named the "Magic Bus" really a trustworthy mode of transportation? 

Disaster Cleanup Worker (2007-2013)

I hope to god this is the only time porn, mannequins, and domesticated vermin with anger issues ever come up in the same story.

Funeral Home Greeter (2014)

There are pranks and then there are funeral home pranks...

Payroll Assistant (2014-2015)

Follow one stranger’s journey as he ruins the Payroll Department’s lives for a year.

Condom Mint Factory Worker (2016)

Do you think Oompa Loompas ever had to wear hairnets?